Episode 2: Thailand

After Sri Lanka and a large gathering of friends, the next phase of the tour plan called for meandering through Thailand and Malaysia for a couple of weeks- the first time I have ever vacationed solo.  More than anything else I was looking forward to the food, which made me a bit ashamed of myself considering all of the history, natural beauty, and culture these countries have on offer.  But I can't help it.  I was born in Kuala Lumpur with Malaysian food in my mouth, and I was finally coming home to Southeast Asia more than 3 decades later.

A shout-out to the Russmetes-Gebhards of Miami who gave me a detailed tutorial on the ins and outs of Thailand while we were in Colombo- and some local Thai currency pocket money too.      

Bangkok.  I landed in Bangkok, took a ride into town, checked into the hotel on Silom Road, and immediately did what I had dreamed about doing for years: walk the streets of Bangkok.  I was not disappointed.  What an intense and colorful experience.  Bangkok is like a big, ragged playground in the heart of a country where having fun in all that you do- work or play- is a traditional and serious priority.  If I were forced to choose one word to describe Bangkok, it would be capital R, Raw.  There is a palpable sense that the city is making stuff up as it goes along- it's more of a place for the Joker than Batman.

Most memorable from that first walk were the smells: nasal sandwiches of good smells, then bad smells, and good smells again within single city blocks.  The good smells could be from some combination of animal of earth or sea, noodle, and vegetables shallow-frying with spices and batters over high flames.  It could be those fragrant flowers being sold near the Hindu temple, or from one of the gardens.  You don't want to know where the bad smells were coming from.  Whatever it was often marinated for days on end in the scorching hot sun and overflowing storm water from torrential rains.

Bangkok is a sprawling, disorganized metropolis of 12 or 13 million which seems to go on uninterrupted for miles and miles.  There are dozens of imposing and contemporarily designed skyscrapers spread out over geographically diverse sections of the sprawl, and numerous cranes announcing more to come.  Bangkok is one of those few urban parts of the world that successfully house the very old next to the very new- for comparison Mumbai comes to mind.  Both rich and poor somehow coexist peacefully too.  The most efficient, economical, and fun way to get around are the motorcycle "taxis" which are basically dudes with bikes, for hire.  As with everything else, the price of each trip is negotiable.  A 200 bhat quote for anything can usually be banged down to 70 with a little skill, patience and the traditional greeting, "Sawadtee Krap!"  It's recommended that you wear a helmet, and hang onto the dude tightly.

Shops and street vendors hawking food, clothes, tourist services, rickshaw rides, fake watches, or real younger sisters were seamlessly intermingled with stray animals, 5 star hotels, beautiful gardens, modern shopping malls, embassies, and ancient temples.  Handsome trees somehow survived among the heavily-traveled sidewalks and smoggy air.  Shifty characters lurked around street corners and gave you elevator eyes.  Cautious tourists with cameras and maps passed by furtively.  Half-crazed white-haired European hippies talked to themselves while walking around in circles.  No doubt some cats who had arrived in the 70's never left, mentally or physically.  Transvestites (aka Lady-Boys) gave you a warm smile.  I began to understand the frightening ramifications of a great line by Paul Giammati's FBI agent character from the Hollywood movie shot locally, The Hangover 2. "Bangkok has him now."  Other movie titles such as Bangkok Dangerous and Bangkok Adrenaline also began to make sense.  There was certainly law and security here, for I never once felt truly unsafe, day or night, but you couldn't completely let your guard down.

I immediately connected with Bangkok; there was no question that I was born in this general part of the world.  This was my kind of place.  It was time to get a real taste.

The Grub.  I have a serious affinity for Thai food, as do most of my friends and family.  Fortunately we have a number of first-rate Thai restaurants in New York City.  It's little wonder that Thai is catching up to Chinese as one of the most ubiquitous restaurant choices in practically every town and city in the United States.  Its flavors and preparation methods are simple, and generally easy to like, whether you prefer spicy food or not.

On a few delicious occasions I found a perfectly balanced dish- that harmonious blend of subtle Thai flavors such as lemongrass, coconut milk, fish sauce, galangal, kaffir lime leaves, fresh chilies, dried chilies, papaya, garlic, soy, and shallots in just the right ratios.  All very fresh, which makes all the difference.  I had meals at places that ran the gamut from nicer hotel restaurants, to holes in the wall and street cart vendors.  The most memorable dishes I had in Bangkok were a very good tom kha gai soup, soft shell crab in red curry, a fiery hot lemongrass salad that was a true sweet, sour and spicy revelation, chicken with cashew nuts with plenty of dry roasted chilies, and delectable Thai fried rice.  I was getting food made as spicy as I wanted it on a regular basis for a pittance.  

Fortunately or unfortunately my palate is highly discerning and easily disgruntled. There was one critical disappointment in the food department.  Over the week in Thailand I was unable to find a well-made plate of pad thai- that famous national dish of pan-fried broad rice noodles with peanuts and proteins, and one of my favorite dishes from any culture.  As with any well-prepared Thai dish, numerous ingredients go into it and the timing and proportions have to be just right.  It's hard to find consistently high-quality pad thai anywhere.  It just may have been bad luck, considering I visited the recommended spots.  You can't win them all.


Tourist Spots  No visit to Bangkok is complete without Wat Pho and the Grand Palace next door- vestiges of the royal bloodline going back centuries and still uneasily ruling the roost today. Wat Pho is a gigantic temple complex of over 1,000 Buddha idols and images, including the golden reclining Buddha statue which at almost 50 meters long is the biggest reclining Buddha in the world.  It was largely built in the 1700's although renovations and additions have been made over the centuries.  Even a perfunctory visit requires many hours in the maze-like complex.  Funny enough I found this guy whose shirt indicated he was NYPD S.W.A.T. Had he followed me here?

The Grand Palace is the most visited tourist destination in Bangkok- and home to the Kings of Siam and the Emerald Buddha since 1782.  It's an absolutely stunning collection of buildings, and brought to mind comparisons with the Forbidden City, which was my favorite destination in China some years back, or the Mughal stronghold Red Fort in India.  The Grand Palace can be combined in a day with Wat Pho, but wear sneakers and be prepared to do a lot of walking if you are interested in seeing all the intricate architecture and artwork.  It's a fun little game to imagine all of the palace intrigues that must have occurred within those confines- the backstabbing, closed door compromises, coronation ceremonies, dangerous liaisons, torrid affairs, declarations of war, and maybe even some ruling.

Kanchanaburi. One of the day trips available from Bangkok is well worth doing- a visit to Kanchanaburi province which is West of Bangkok.  Kanchanaburi has several spectacular things to do, including the famous Bridge Over the River Kwai built by Allied POWs under Japanese internment during World War II- after which the 1957 film was named.   The film took some dramatic liberties with history, but earned 7 academy awards that year and is considered a classic to this day.  I would recommend the bridge, the surrounding resorts and Buddhist temple, as well as the film.

Nearby that infamous bridge is the famous floating market, a massive shopping complex set up along the Kwai River backwaters, where most of the merchants operate off of boats.  What's for sale?  It could be flowers, clothes, hats, fruits, vegetables, or most impressively, snacks and meals.  The boat handlers have become adept at all types of cooking on these little floating shops, including deep frying.  I had a nice, cheap bowl of lemongrass-infused noodle soup at the market, as well as the chance to pet a baby elephant.  Such a marvelous creature.  Included in most of the package tours, you also have the opportunity to take a boat ride around the swampy backwaters.  All of this is certainly worth seeing and doing, but none of it compares to the main event.

A little ways down from the floating market is the tiger temple- an animal reserve and nursery run entirely by a local monastic order.  The concept behind the monastery is to bring in wounded wild animals, nurse them back to health, and open the doors to curious tourists.  Most of the animals being cared for are tigers- and unlike anything I've heard of or seen elsewhere in the world, guests are invited to pet a number of the tigers while staff take photos.  I first heard of the concept through the Loans of Karachi, who had just visited the tiger temple as part of their honeymoon itinerary.  The whole idea scared the crap out of me.  But it had to be done, so the Loans get a shout-out here.

No regrets.  Tigers are mystical, majestic beasts and I had never seen one that wasn't locked up in a cage until now.  They ooze a rare combination of raw power and beauty.  Their ability and desire to rip humans and other large mammals apart is well documented, and the Lonely Planet guide in my hands cautioned tourists to stay the hell away after reports of some poor visitors before us getting mauled.  So here we were, a bunch of foreigners sitting in the tour van, putting on a brave face as we hurtled toward what promised to be a cool but frightening experience in a third-world country where they wouldn't even bother asking you to fill out a waiver.  And for some dumb reason, I engaged in an untimely conversation with my German travel companion about the travails of Siegfried and Roy and the Lonely Planet warning.





Hopefully these photos speak for themselves.  Petting the tigers brought me in touch with some sort of primal instinct, a combination of fear and joy.  Most of them lazed about in the afternoon sun and looked at us with bored eyes, a disconnect from what I very well knew they were capable of doing to me within seconds.  The well-trained tigers were used to daily human contact
from the staff and visitors, and were supposedly on a regimen of feeding and exercise later each day that took the piss and vinegar out of them.  They seemed to have an appreciation and understanding that the monks had taken care of them, many since being little cubs.  Their fur felt soft and greasy.  The monastery's rules advised us to avoid approaching them from the front, and to only touch them behind the head.  I wasn't going to push the envelope on this one.  We conjectured whether the consistently docile, gentle animals were drugged, but the monks claimed they were not.  My guess is that they were simply lazy and uninterested in man meat, but that factor would never have taken away from the magic for me anyway.  Another few tourists expressed concern about how the staff and monks were treating these beasts- keeping them chained, for example, or whether they were being cared for ethically.  An American volunteer answered that she decided to work there to find out for herself- and she was satisfied by what she saw and learned.

Would I recommend it?  For sure.

  

Phuket.  It was close to a couple of weeks since I'd left the snow behind at JFK airport, and I hadn't set foot on an Asian beach yet.  I spent an hour with a helpful Thai-born Indian travel agent on Silom Road in Bangkok to work out my itinerary, and besides Bangkok and Kanchanaburi, the goal was to make my way to a beach resort.  The leading options were either Phuket or a combination of Kho Samui/Kho Pnang, and three days in Phuket turned out to be the most viable arrangement.  Phuket is the most developed, and by some accounts best beach resort in the country, with many decades of experience catering to tourists from around the globe and a wide variety of options for accommodation and entertainment.  I was advised to stay in Patong, which is more or less like the main drag on the island for young people like me without access to a car.

If you like beaches, you will like Phuket although if you want to avoid people and noise Patong is not for you.  Crystal clear blue water stretches for as far as the eye can see, with dozens of public and private sand bars all along the coastline.  Resorts and hotels dot the rising hills overlooking the ocean.  The large island of Phuket is surrounded by hundreds of other little islands displaying fantastic cliff faces and vegetation.  Seafood, coral, and sea life abound.  This part of the world combines a laid back island vibe with the natural surroundings to match.  Excellent accommodations and food are available at bargain basement prices, as there is plenty of competition.

Modern Phuket started out as a colonial Dutch/French/British tin-mining concern in the 1600's.  Smart locals in the latter part of the 20th century recognized the economic potential of the area and abandoned their sleepy mining and fisherman existence en masse to help the foreigners build a world-class tourist trap.  The result is both fun and a bit disturbing just like Las Vegas: a big, contrived metro area with a transient population of tourists. All of the physical and cultural amenities are geared toward a Western audience and funded by largely foreign investors tied up with Thai elites from different parts of the country.  There is an uneasy truce between the foreigners who come to enjoy themselves on their terms, and the locals who are trying to make a buck by providing those amenities to them.  It feels a bit exploitative, and here I was as a part of it.  I could sense a mild wariness from the Thais here that I didn't see in Bangkok.  On the other hand, the local population was palpably benefiting from rising wages and higher standards of living as I kept reminding myself.  I decided that reconciling these issues was above my pay grade.

There sure was plenty to do.  I went on an amazing island tour by speedy jet boat, which included snorkeling in the warm and clear waters near the boat.  It was my first time and a thoroughly enjoyable experience- with dozens of species of marine life easily visible through the goggles.  Fish swam all around us and nipped at our fingers.  I made a number of friends of all ages from Europe, and some amiable Swedes shared a warm beer with me.  One of them had decided to stay some years ago and opened up his own restaurant.  A common theme in Thailand is that some visitors can just never leave.

I also got to witness my first evening of Muay Thai kickboxing at Patong Stadium.  This was a very cool experience, as I had spent a lot of time watching the sport grow in the States and had a passable familiarity with the sport.  My friend Jason is an enthusiastic fighter who came to Thailand to train pretty seriously.  The stadium was a chaotic mix of locals, who drank heavily and placed verbal bets by waving Thai bhat bills around and shrieking at each other, and foreigners largely drinking the scene in for the first time.  A local band sat in a top corner of the stadium banging on drums and playing wind instruments.  I got some good ringside seats, which included a free neon green muscle shirt.  The show started with little 6-year-olds spiritedly beating on each other with their skinny little arms and legs.  As the bouts went on the fighters got older and bigger: 10-year-olds, then 14-year-olds, on to the serious adults and progression by weight class.  The fighting became better as we got into the adult semi-pros: more skilled, more controlled, and more strategic.  A couple of female fighters got into a fierce battle.  There were 8 fights in all, every one of them worth watching.  The sense of tradition, spirituality, and respect were always present, even with some of the older fighters from abroad who were very good.  And every single fighter was ripped.  Overall I think the health benefits of the sport and adherence to tradition outweigh the criticisms that some have.

The nightlife in Patong is big, loud, and always on 365 nights of the year.  Right off the main beach there was a strip of bars and restaurants with a street in between swarming with endless waves of tourists.  Waitresses follow tourists around trying to drum up business for their establishment.  Tailors and touts tried to hawk their wares.  It reminded me of Bourbon Street in New Orleans, except with largely white customers and Thai staff.

Phuket was a fun time, but once is enough.  On this trip I learned that I'm generally not fond of traveling alone, and unable to spend much time sitting on a beach without getting restless.  I made plenty of new friends but found the down time in between socializing to be boring.  All of this is good to know.

A Hindu tale displayed at Bangkok International Airport

Thailand is an awesome place, one that has a special connection for those of Indian origin- there are cultural, religious, and historical similarities that make the nation recognizable and approachable to us.  It's no coincidence that a large and thriving Indian community has set up shop in Thailand.  But unlike India and most other nations of the surrounding region, Thailand managed to avoid outright colonialism by a European power by cleverly co-opting would-be invaders against others in the neighborhood.  The Thais have survived generations of upheaval and intrigue, but have largely remained the masters of their own destiny.  And they have managed to have fun doing it.  Along with the other nations of the regional council known as ASEAN, Thailand has an excellent shot at staying relevant and advancing its role in the world further in the future.

Mahanth's Freedom Tour 2012, Part 1: Sri Lanka

The circumstances of life offer each of us opportunities both exciting and banal every now and then.  The question is whether to capitalize on them or not.  In my case, late 2011 conspired to present a decision I found pretty compelling: the chance to take an extended leave from work, to travel to new and distant lands relatively cheaply, to embark on personal journeys of spirituality, fitness, and culinary adventure, to start some new entrepreneurial projects, to do a study of Asian global cities by wandering their streets on foot, to see my parents and some friends again after multiple years.  Plus, I've always wanted to say "I'm on sabbatical."  Freedom Tour 2012, anyone?  The choice was made after several months of mulling.

Since late January I have been to Sri Lanka, Thailand, Malaysia, Hong Kong, and just a few days ago landed up in New Plymouth, New Zealand.  I now sit near the beach in summertime, in the shadow of Mount Taranaki which I intend to climb in the coming days, and of my parents, who are trying to discourage me from climbing said mountain.  There's nothing like home cookin', even if it's served down under and finished with kiwi fruit for dessert and parental rejoinders about my mortality as an aperitif.

All were new countries to me, sort of except Malaysia where I was born but had not returned to for 32 years.  It's been an amazing trip so far, and I will end up in India come April to visit my ancestral places, meet relatives and friends, and explore new territory in that fast-changing nation before returning to the United States.  While I tend to ramble on, some of you may find these accounts interesting, especially if you've never been.  

Relevant sidebar:  OMG it's SO awesome to fall off the grid for a while in this information age as I have done.  After years of monitoring work and personal emails, work Blackberry and personal cell phone both with text messaging, Facebook, IM, and a snail mail box filled with endless streams of junk mail and bills, limitless chores at home and errands outside, I nearly completely unplugged from it all and "went dark" for the last three weeks without the hand-helds... though it takes a while before your hands forget to stop anxiously feeling around for some "gadgetry" every ten minutes.   

SRI LANKA

I would like to dedicate this blog entry to my pal Krishna and his new bride Neesha, to the extent that one can dedicate a blog entry to anyone.  The fabulous wedding hosted by the couple and their families in Colombo was four days of joyous celebration for a big group of us college buddies and spouses from abroad, and this mini-reunion was the first bookend of my 2012 tour.  For more than 10 years I had vowed to make it to Colombo to witness Krish getting betrothed whenever it might happen.  As floor mates, roommates, or housemates, through four years in college we were never very far apart- generally with him barely talking, and me talking too much (shocking).  I wouldn't have missed this important moment.

I touched down in the capital city of Colombo (more big town than small city) on January 25th and was pleasantly surprised to find many differences from the urban India I know.  The contrast in temperature was overwhelming- in New York there was heavy snow on the ground as the plane took off from JFK, and Colombo was sunny and low 90's- a body-shocking 60 degree swing.  I was expecting to find a mini-India vibe with similar landscapes, food, and culture but in fact Sri Lanka is unlike anywhere else in South Asia.  The people are thoroughly laid-back in the classic island sense, which is good when it comes to relaxing near the beach, but not so good if you are trying to get through immigration at the international airport and the requisite duty officer is sleeping at his desk (true story).  Along the road from the airport to the city visitors can observe large Buddha statues, colorful Jesus statues, and Hindu shrines all intermingled in the suburban centers- which were an excellent sign of religious and ethnic tolerance.  After two decades of brutal civil war only just ended in recent memory between the Tamil Tiger separatists and the Singhalese-majority government, after blood-curdling atrocities committed by both sides over many years, I was glad to see numerous outward signs of harmony in Colombo, Kandy (the country's second city), and some of the rural areas that I visited.

There is much positive to say about the Ceylonese folks.  Commerce seems to be moving along, tourism is growing rapidly now that it's safer to travel the small country's various parts, plenty of new infrastructure construction is underway, and on a related note foreign powers such as China and Malaysia appear to be investing heavily here.  Global NGOs have substantial operations performing good work.  I was surprised at how clean and organized Colombo was, how nobody was urinating on the streets, how white foreigners weren't being ogled by everyone as they would be in India.  Well-maintained gardens and roads spread through the town.  I did not see much of the Sri Lankan beaches but my understanding is that they are comparable in quality to other Asian destinations with the benefit of lower cost for holidays.

To follow the larger theme we're finding throughout Asia, Sri Lanka is clearly going someplace, forging ahead for the better especially in urban centers, where a thriving middle class is apparent and people are starting to enjoy a higher standard of living, as evidenced by shopping malls, theaters, electronic equipment stores, and fast-food restaurants being frequented by a burgeoning demographic profile.  Whether this lifestyle and modernity in general will seep into the heartlands and lift up the rural poor is still an open question, like it is for India, China, and others.  I am not so sure and the local elites I spoke with were not definitive, either.  The next question is whether Western culture and the local culture can coexist harmoniously- a dilemma for all of Asia.

In Colombo, Team Georgetown stayed at a nice resort called the Cinnamon Grand.  While we took advantage of the standard amenities- gym, spa, pool, tennis courts, shopping center, and poolside bar- for me the hotel's food was most memorable.  On the first day I reached the hotel very early in the morning, well before sunrise, and was on my own for a while.  When the elaborate breakfast buffet opened up at Taprobane, the in-house Sri Lankan restaurant, I was floored.  Here was the bright sun rising over the resort's shiny goldfish-laden lagoon.  What commenced next was a non-stop tour of food consumption featuring both Western and Eastern breakfast treats: an omelet made to order with extra chilies, string hoppers, hoppers, three different kinds of spicy and delicious sambals, sambar, and chicken curry.  A wide selection of breads, pastries, and fruit were sampled along with a cup or two of very tasty coffee.  The meal was awesome in every respect except one: I was quite sad to find my belly was filling up and there was no more room to eat more breakfast morsels.  The heart was saying yes, but the stomach was saying no!  There were, however, four more mornings of breakfast buffet to have, these times with company.

But that was nothing.  At a different part of the hotel lies the restaurant Lagoon, where several of us agreed we had found that most precious of edible treasures, literally the best seafood I've ever eaten anywhere.  I can happily say this without an ounce of exaggeration.  Customers come by, pick the specific fish, prawns, lobster, squid, or crab they want to eat from the front counter, all incredibly fresh or still alive, and then pick the type of preparation and sauce they prefer.  The chefs prepare each item to order right then behind the dining area.  Recommendations are given on request, and after sampling 7 or 8 different dishes over two different evenings, every single one divinely fresh, delicate and perfectly seasoned, several of us came to the consensus about what a highlight this place was.  Beer and lobster thermidor, dude!

Among the more interesting things I did in Colombo away from the wedding was to shadow my friend who works at an American money management firm as he went to a series of meetings with local company CEOs and CFOs for the better part of a day.  At each meeting all of the classic problems with doing business in South Asian countries became painfully apparent: high levels of political meddling in industry by certain individuals, opacity, and the strange propensity for companies to conglomerate into half a dozen unrelated industries under one corporate umbrella.  For example, a beverage bottling business might also invest in real estate, telecommunications, and agriculture. The executives were very nice, but also exceedingly casual; none of the meetings started on time, and the staff at the securities firm that set up the meetings often had no idea which room we were supposed to go in, resulting in unexpectedly long tours of buildings.  While the war is over, tourism booms and the economic outlook is looking up, without naming names I would suspect that overall corporate management will need to reach for higher standards before they can expect to become world-beaters.

The wedding ceremonies were lively, colorful, loud, and plenty of fun and in that they are similar to weddings in India.  The main wedding event was on Saturday during the day at a large Hindu temple in Colombo.  Other receptions and parties, all with grand meals served, took place on Thursday, Friday, and Sunday to make it a solid four day affair.

Real men wear sarongs.

The day I reached, unable to fall sleep due to jet lag, I jumped right into things.  As I arrived on Wednesday, I got the chance to spend some quality time at Krishna's family home during the day, and it was a bustling hive of activity.  Workers, maids, delivery people, and numerous relatives were busily moving in and out of the house.  I watched Krish make at least 20 phone calls to go over logistics for events and guests traveling from around the world.  It was quite hectic, but this surreal tableau was all part of the experience for me, as I was still trying to get over the fact I had been trudging in dirty snow just the day before.

Day one ended with an organized dance practice as I was inserted into a performance by Krishna's school friends and cousins representing the boys' side in a friendly competition at the cocktail party scheduled the next day.  Representing your side in song and dance is taken seriously in Hindu weddings, so I was putting my all into it, while offering the group some comic relief during practice as well.  And of course, we got rave reviews.

The next four days were a blur of activity- wedding functions, meeting up with old friends, making new ones, eating lots of food, and exploring different corners of Colombo.  Fancy lunches, high tea, doubles tennis, swimming, and conversations about careers, relationships, and parenthood abounded.  The final event was the Sunday night reception, which featured literally the best bharatanatyam performance I've ever seen, with India's leading mother and daughter dancing duo uniquely fused with local Sri Lankan musicians holding a lively drum beat.  With a former President and an ex-Prime Minister of Sri Lanka along with a smattering of High Commissioners in attendance, Sri Lankan Special Forces (see left) were standing guard at the Hilton to prevent an international incident.

After Colombo, the newlyweds and a few others of us joined up at Nuwara Eliya, the world-famous tea estates at the top of some steep hills and about an intensely curvy and climbing 6 hour drive from the capital.  The altitude brought some very welcome cool weather and mist.  We stayed at a beautiful hill resort called the Heritance Tea Factory, which was in fact a tea processing facility operated by the British for many decades of colonial rule.  Almost all of the original architecture and machinery were kept intact in this fascinating building, and if you closed your eyes for a minute it felt like being transported back to the 1800's during the height of the British Raj.

The tea estates make up just about the entire local economy of the region, with hundreds of workers plying the trade of growing, picking, and processing fine teas for the rest of the world to wake up to.  The views of the surrounding hills, lakes, and water bodies are downright breathtaking.  Thousands of rows of tea plants and other green vegetation at various heights stretch as far as the eye can see, dotted with women in colorful saris working the land.  On the first morning at the estate, a couple of us went on a brisk guided trek through the estates and forestry.  We visited a local village to see how the locals lived, while learning about the many species of birds, trees and plants that call this place home.

During the trek I also participated in an engaging political discussion with an elderly British gentleman, a fellow traveler who had traversed the length and breadth of America for work over many years.  He has observed town after town in the heartland fall into decay from an outsider's point of view, and we lamented the current state of affairs in Western civilization.  From the heights of the Nuwara Eliya tea estates, we both thoroughly denounced the Tea Party, which brought home that educated people around the world were monitoring the phenomenon with great concern just as many Americans are.  He had several memorable quotes: "After World War II during reconstruction I think that was your country's best time," he said earnestly, which made me rather proud to be American.  And at the end, "Isn't it nice how two people of different ages and from different places can share the same ideas?"  Agreed.

On the way back to Colombo, from where I'd fly to Thailand, we stopped for several hours in Kandy, the second city with a sweet name, and at one point the capital of kingdoms of yore.  Kandy is famous for the most important Buddha temple in Sri Lanka, and allegedly the home of Buddha's very tooth.  Inside the temple is an illustrated account of how that tooth came to be there- and the great hardships taken on by Buddhist devotees to move the tooth from place to place facing massive obstacles.  This temple housed the finest collection of buddha statues and artwork I have ever seen- including gold, marble, precious gems and stones, ceramics, and other materials.  Kandy was worth visiting just for this, and it was a good halt in the road trip for lunch as well.

There is much else to do in Sri Lanka, but I only had a week.  I've heard about the amazing beaches, the ruins of ancient civilizations up north, museums, and other trappings of the British Raj that I missed on this trip.  One thing is for certain: I will be back.  For now I'm satisfied with having come away with the best bharatanatyam performance and best seafood meal of my life within a week.

And if you're not bored to death, you can come back here soon to read about Thailand... here's a teaser, I got to pet some real live tigers out there- like another MJ once used to do.

The Republican Primary Clown Car

There is an image I cannot get out of my head whenever I follow campaign coverage about the Republican presidential hopefuls.  For the life of me.  This bunch is so comical, so colorful, and so ridiculous in their collective comportment that I cannot help but think of the lot of them riding around the country in a clown car.  The type where you think there's only room for four people, yet somehow thirteen clowns pile in and out to silly circus music and fall all over one another.

If history and common sense are any guides, Barack Obama should lose the next election.  His base coalition is listless and unsatisfied by the half-measures and feints toward the other side's views.  The right wing hates him with a rabid zeal regardless of what he has and has not accomplished or said or compromised on, and will surely turn out in force to pry him out of the White House next year.  The Occupy Wall Street movement has numbers, attention, and momentum, and yet Obama has been unable to tap into their energy, instead making them a liability to his re-election campaign.

Meanwhile the all-important moderates and independents are still trying to make up their minds about whether they like the president or not.  Centrists are not convinced Obama deserves another term, if polling is to be believed.  The nation's poor economic performance has served to dent his support among all Americans across the board along with shaking the citizenry's confidence in America more generally.  Sometimes it seems as if the only support Obama can really bank on comes from overseas, where his popularity remains high.  That's also irrelevant because those folks have zero say in the American electoral college.

That being said, there is absolutely no question that a healthy President Obama will defeat the odds and survive another term, even without the continuous improvement in the economy that conventional wisdom would indicate he needs to win.  After all, we have largely been in recession with the requisite high unemployment numbers for over three years running.

How can this be?  It's because the challengers from the GOP represent such an embarrassingly weak crop.  There isn't a single viable candidate among them, assuming the group of finalists remains static at Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Ron Paul, Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry, and Jon Huntsman.  The window is fast closing for those waiting in the wings such as Sarah Palin.  You may question my smugness, especially in a year where so much power seems to be on the Republican side.  Allow me to entertain you with the following breakdown of each so that you can decide for yourself.

Jon Huntsman  Here's my favorite guy of the bunch.  If I were voting in the Republican primaries, he would receive my vote.  He is smart, witty, experienced at meaningful managerial and diplomatic levels, and the candidate least given to bizarre and/or hateful rhetoric.  He has been a governor, a businessman, and a diplomat among other things. As a former Ambassador to China fluent in Mandarin, he understands the rising dragon superpower better than his rivals and quite likely Obama and Hillary Clinton as well.

In the end Huntsman is too well-adjusted, pragmatic, and soft-spoken for today's rabid conservative movement.  They crave unhinged vituperation against imaginary enemies to explain away America's decline.  Huntsman's candidacy makes no sense and will go nowhere.  There is no way that an intellectual low on charisma and followers such as Huntsman will have a chance this time around in the Republican primary.

Mitt Romney  Mitt is certainly persistent, running for the second cycle in a row after being both un-competitive and uninspiring in 2008.  Most of the media consider him to be the front-runner of the race, largely by default, despite his inability to garner even 30% of primary voters in any poll over the last year.  The perceived inevitability of his primary victory can be attributed to a general consensus, which I agree with, that he's the most electable in a head to head contest with Obama.  Not that it says much when you ride in a clown car.

Mitt is most persistent when it comes to changing his core political beliefs.  He has been unable to convincingly explain why he pushed for, signed into law, and adored a health care plan in Massachusetts that looks a lot like Obamacare but has since been thrown under the bus. His positions on abortion, gun control, and other issues have morphed with the winds of opportunism. While his business acumen and successful bid to become super-rich can be seen as assets in a time of recession, it calls into question his lack of authenticity as a corporate automaton who happened to pick up politics.  Bain under his watch shut down a lot of business and jobs to boost the bottom line for shareholders.  His vision for the country is muddled.  He has never inspired excitement and I doubt he ever will, even after winning the nomination.  His Mormonism is also a liability, though more so in the primary than in a general election.  He has a mean-spirited streak which may help him in the primaries but hurt him in the general.

My prediction is a narrow Obama victory over Romney/Condi Rice come fall 2012.

Ron Paul  Nobody will accuse Tea Party godfather Ron Paul of being inauthentic; he is the real f***ing deal.  He would dismantle one half of the federal government brick by brick, and he'd use his own hands to do it if he could.  He would take an axe to that most hallowed of government agencies for Republicans, Defense, while pulling back our troops from misadventures around the world and ending any rhetoric about the use of force against Iran or other rogue nations.  His proposals are completely out of the realm of possibility, though he is wildly popular with a small band of enthusiastic followers.  Ergo, the Republican establishment has grown to become deathly afraid of him for his very real potential to play spoiler to more viable candidates, which would simply delight the old man and his college co-ed coterie.  Ron Paul leads in Iowa and has sired Senator Rand Paul, so he is a force to be reckoned with, just as Ralph Nader used to be on the other side.  He is smart enough to know he won't win, but has the ability to shape policy.

As a pure civil libertarian and strict Constitutionalist, Paul makes common cause with Americans of all stripes, including those who would legalize marijuana or seek to end military intervention or foreign aid.  I agree with some of his views, while others are clearly untenable.  Nonetheless, he is the most entertaining to watch, because he says what he wants and doesn't give a damn what anyone thinks.  This is completely refreshing in this political world of endless focus groups and poll-testing.

Michele Bachmann.  I've written extensively about Bachmann here before.  The men of the party can't live with her, and can't live without her.  Everyone knows she is un-electable.  She is considered just a notch more sane than Ron Paul, and has admittedly worked very hard to burnish her image from a bible-thumping wing-nut twinkie to one of a serious candidate.  Her campaign has already been through a dramatic rise and fall and yet she plows on with great determination in an effort to win Iowa, where she has some roots.  However, Bachmann's grasp of what the country looks like and is going through, let alone the world outside, is limited by a lack of curiosity and experience.  She does not have executive ability or a leadership record to point to.  Her socially conservative agenda is not what the nation is fixated on during this moment of financial discontent.  That being said, the Republican party recognizes her ability to harness an energy in the base that the front-runners are incapable of, and the establishment will therefore have to keep her around- and probably need to offer her an attractive cabinet post or enticing leadership role in Congress in the near future.

I have enjoyed the silliness, miscues and foibles surrounding Bachmann's campaign, especially her husband's attempts to cure gays of their "affliction," but her work ethic and dogged determination- attributes that separate her from Palin- have earned my grudging respect.

Rick Perry.  Rick Perry was late to the party, and as such I did not get to know him that well until recently.  On paper when he joined, my assumption was that he'd be formidable and a probable front-runner.  It's still true that Perry best bridges the business wing of the GOP with the middle-America evangelical wing.  He's got rugged good looks, charisma, and that Texas swagger that an ailing and confidence-sapped America yearns to reclaim once again.  He is someone voters could see themselves getting behind to give Obama a good ole fashioned ass-whoopin'.

Unfortunately for Perry, he turned out to be more style than substance.  He has the charm but is completely out of his league when it comes to performing at speeches and debates or handling the media.  Almost certainly on medication, drugs or booze on multiple loopy occasions at public events, Perry is stumbling his way through a campaign which is clearly above his head.  He discusses issues such as the death penalty in Texas with great confidence in his Christian beliefs, but I wonder if the evangelicals will see that he cares more about corporate welfare than theirs when it comes time to act.  And this brings me to my least favorite candidate.

Rick Santorum.  He is too irrelevant and upsetting to write about.

Newt Gingrich.  I've followed the Gingrich career since the mid-90's when I was in high school, and he was Speaker of the House.  Back then I thought he was an unattractive, pompous, lying, pseudo-intellectual shape-shifter (I was ignorant enough at the time to believe that most politicians were not the same).  Observing him during this campaign has been a pleasure- because he has stayed completely and predictably true to form.  Some say people don't really change.  I believe Newt's limited success thus far in 2011 is directly attributable to older conservatives remembering him in the exact opposite fashion as myself- with fondness.  Newt certainly had his moments in the sun - such as the time he led the crucifixion of Bill Clinton to great right wing fanfare (even as he was philandering about town) - to working with that same administration to achieve meaningful and sweeping welfare reform.  He can be a bulldog for conservative causes at times, but I often question his true beliefs.  Like Romney he seems inclined to change his mind when it suits him.  Prime examples of this are his flip-flopping on healthcare reform and the Libya intervention.  He is also given to spreading bizarre theories about things such as President Obama's deep, dark rebellious psyche developed from having an absentee father from Kenya.

Those of us wishing for a better candidate to come around might be disappointed.  The thin bench at this time probably includes Jeb Bush, Sarah Palin, and Donald Trump: all completely uninspiring and as delusional as any of the others if they threw their hat in the ring.

It's in fact a historically fascinating phenomenon that a political opposition party is unable to put forth a single decent candidate when the president himself is limping along and most Americans feel that the country is on the wrong track.  It says a lot of things about our country, none of them good:

1) The party's purity tests are too draconian and probably drive competent people out of the process.
2) The expenses involved are phenomenal and require endless fundraising, which is another turnoff.
3) The process for a candidate of either party is too long and taxing- running constantly for two long years, jumping through endless hoops for the media and voters, entertaining nonstop attacks from the media and other candidates, dragging family and friends through the mud.  All of this is prohibitive for normal humans.
4) The electorate is largely ignorant and therefore this encourages the self-aggrandizing reality-TV caricatures to become our politicians.
5) We simply aren't producing great leaders in America at this time, and the travails of Obama have deflated our hopes of finding the next one who inspired us like he did.
6) We've become cynical.
7) In this era of decline, the new reality is that there is no leader who has the vision, the answers, the solutions we are yearning for, as the problems are simply too overwhelming.

Great way to end 2011, America.  Good luck to all the candidates in the coming primaries.  Above all, let's enjoy the entertainment.  It promises to keep getting better as the stakes are raised.

JOBS, JOBS, JOBS

How do we create jobs?

One of the most frustrating aspects of American politics today is the lack of relevant, mature

debate on how to move the nation forward in a time of multiple crises at home and abroad.

Both political parties are rarely prepared to discuss reality free from vitriolic rhetoric these

days. The sad result is historic dysfunction. This is especially true when it comes to the

question of how to create jobs. The only thing that politicians agree about is that it’s the most

important issue facing the nation. Yet there seems to be a gloomy consensus: there are few

tools left in the tool shed that we can agree to use in order to create jobs.

Too many Republicans and their backers think that taking an axe to all government programs

except the army, deregulating industry, all the while lowering all taxes are the end-all solutions

for economic woe.

Meanwhile most Democrats believe we can spend our way out of everything. What have

our biggest recent expenditures achieved? TARP and the Fed bailed out our ailing banks with

trillions of dollars, rewarding bad behavior and allowing lenders to hoard cash and disburse

record bonuses instead of loosening credit, all while underpaying their taxes. Record profits

are being made thanks to financial products nobody understands and which not only don’t help

society, but actively harm it.

The stimulus funds have been spent slowly, inefficiently, and with poor oversight, giving a good

idea a bad name. The trillions spent in Afghanistan and Iraq have achieved uncertain results

at best, damaging the credibility of both political parties along the way. Our foreign aid is

mismanaged and poorly audited. Contrary to partisan ideology, the problem isn’t spending

itself, but HOW government spends those precious dollars. The government isn’t “broke.” We

should also rid ourselves of the notion that government isn’t capable of spending well.

So we know why the doom and gloom. Is it possible to create jobs in a capitalist society led by

an irresponsible government? Of course it is. I implore President Obama and his Republican

challengers to draft policy on the following five simple, common-sense principles, which unlike

everything else in Washington are not driven by partisan ideology. These do not constitute

party platforms; they are an American platform. I want to hear how any of the candidates will

help accomplish the following, or else their arguments against them.

1) Hearken Back to what Made America Great. How did America come to be the world’s

leading superpower? I believe the best answer is that our businesses of all sizes existed

primarily to produce high quality stuff that people needed or wanted to buy. This was

accomplished through constant innovation, excellent customer service, and hard work.

American business has lamentably drifted away from such high-minded attributes in favor of

short-term profit.

The government can’t just legislate excellence or honesty into existence; however, it can

certainly stop rewarding the deadbeats who don’t conform to this paradigm. No more bailouts

and handouts for banks and insurance companies and automobile manufacturers who don’t

bother to build a better mousetrap. Let them earn their dollar the hard way, or else fall. If

corporate leaders defraud the public as they’ve been doing time and time again, put the

perpetrators in jail where they belong. We need to bring back the culture of being the best

because we make the best in an environment of honesty. The jobs will follow.

Every single government contract at the federal, state, county, and city level should pass a rigid

standard: does our society really need this right now? Let the bureaucrats and politicians slug

it out- but ONLY on the basis of this question. If it’s a repair for one of the many busy interstate

bridges that are crumbling apart, that would be a yes. For a bridge to nowhere or other types

of brazen pork, the answer would be a no. There are plenty of worthy infrastructure projects

in desperate need of funds. We must not tolerate projects that fall prey to incompetence,

fulfill a very narrow special interest, or are over budget, especially at the Pentagon, which has

turned boondoggles into a cottage industry. Somewhere in America, I guarantee you there is a

company that can perform the job. Fire the one who can’t.

2) Help our businesses connect with foreign customers and suppliers. America’s jobs depend

on the ability of business to perform, and lead, in a more globalized marketplace. Most

companies, from giant multinationals all the way down to small businesses are realizing that

their future desperately hinges on the ability to connect with consumers in foreign countries in

addition to the usual American customers. Americans have maxed out their credit, tightened

their belts, and will probably never spend at rates like they did over the last few decades ever

again. Rightly so. Accept it. Growth in consumer spending right now mostly lies overseas and

this is an unprecedented opportunity for Americans too. Every day thousands of new families

are entering the middle class and moving into cities for the first time from South America to

Africa to Asia, ready to buy all manner of stuff. But most American businesses are unprepared

to jump into this new and exciting fray. We need for companies to create goods and services

that there is a demand for, and which they can do better than overseas competitors, rather

than pursuing the same old methods- such as trying to revive the types of manufacturing

that other nations do better and more cheaply than us. We need to make electric cars, not

gasoline cars. There are those who say the government can’t influence this process. I disagree

vehemently.

We must revamp the U.S. education system for the 21st century, and this is something only

the government can do, in partnership with private educational institutions and industries. In

a nutshell, that means that our students must take mandatory trips abroad, and learn foreign

languages and culture beginning at a younger age (elementary school, my dear Watson)

continuing year after year, on through college. Additionally, we need to double down on math,

science and technology training, where American students are woefully lacking in relation

to their counterparts of all ages. School standards need to be reconfigured toward the new

realities of a shrinking, high-tech, multi-polar world. Teachers will have to be trained and

outfitted to provide what’s needed, especially in computing power.

The government must do a better job of encouraging free trade by removing all tariffs and

subsidies at home, and demanding that other nations we trade with do the same. There is no

reason to subsidize the energy and agriculture sectors and artificially affect the markets, giving

our trading partners an excuse to do the same. In the short run this may lead to pain, but it

will be better for the private sector in the long run. Part and parcel of this is fiercely protecting

the intellectual property of Americans as well as foreigners. In fact, I would take some of the

money funneled to defense and budget it specifically to protect intellectual property- it is in

fact a matter of national security.

Government officials of every level must reconsider their own roles. They must think globally

from now on, asking how their agency can thrive in an environment of interchange with other

nations for mutual benefit. That could be looking into products or suppliers in other nations,

studying what counterparts in other locations are doing on environmental issues, or simply

collecting new ideas through social networking.

3) Open up the borders This may seem counter-intuitive. Won’t immigrants take away jobs

from corn-fed, homegrown Americans? Generally, they will not. Immigrants tend to find

jobs that most Americans won’t do (picking grapes for 12 hours in 105 degree weather) or

can’t do (writing code in Silicon Valley). They are often the top students or strivers from their

homeland. Brands like Microsoft, Google, GM, GE, and even the NBA are in desperate need

of replenishing talent every year, and often the only places to find it are abroad. University

departments and laboratories across the nation would collapse without immigration. These

immigrants in turn help innovate, pay their taxes, and spend their incomes at the mall. Some

of them become national heroes, such as Dirk Nowitzki. Of course a minority of immigrants

do engage in criminal activity- and those individuals should rightly be subject to prison or

deportation.

Let more immigrants in. Offer a path to amnesty for the undocumented, law-abiding people

who are already here. Help them help America stay ahead rather than helping another country.

Our diversity and openness are more than a strength- we are desperately going to need them

to survive- especially as the baby boomers are beginning to retire en masse, and the ratio of

taxpayers to retirees will go up drastically in the near future. We can have strong national

defense hand in hand with more open immigration policies.

4) Speaking of national defense It’s time to read the tea leaves. The days of traditional warfare

are over. What does that mean? Instead of buying big tanks, cargo planes, and aircraft carriers

we need to pivot toward the new world we live in. The wars of the future will be fought, won,

and lost on asymmetrical battlefields. Yes, “cyber warfare” and counterterrorism are the new

front lines. Rather than building large standing armies of muscular jarheads and filling the

seas with big fleets of warships, we need legions of geeks and linguists sitting in computer labs

who know how to expand and protect our critical infrastructure and dismantle that of others.

We need more detectives and spies versed in the ways of high technology, who can infiltrate

terror cells and nuclear plants, or guide unmanned aircraft. The operation to track down and

kill Osama bin Laden was more “Law and Order” than “Saving Private Ryan”: good old law

enforcement, with years of investigative work backed by in essence, a glorified SWAT team

going in and out in 45 minutes. The war of the future is not invading countries full-on from

the beach-head, that failed neocon solution to every threat, but instead having the ability to

protect our interests everywhere using all tools at our disposal, including diplomacy and force

with pinpoint precision. That means more special forces, more technology, and less large

standing armies.

Russia and China invest in asymmetrical warfare, and so do the terrorists, anonymous hackers,

and private businesses. In your lifetime and mine, no nation will likely have the ability to fight

the United States head on in a traditional theater of war. But that won’t help if a terrorist finds

a way to sneak a dirty bomb into town or if Chinese hackers manage to shut down our national

power grid, which we almost managed to do without any help in 2003. The asymmetrical

warfare employment prospects in both the private and public sector will provide a triple bonus:

a proliferation of high-paying jobs, the types of technical training and expertise America needs,

and measurable national security achieved. It’s time for America to bring our troops home,

get them trained to be ahead of this game, and stay ahead. This is a good segue into the final

principle.

5) Quality, not quantity Often overlooked in the job creation discussion is that not all

jobs are the same. We are terminally fixated on the numbers: 9.1% unemployment! 8.9%

unemployment! The number of people receiving unemployment checks month on month went

up! We forget that it’s not only jobs we need, but good jobs. If unemployment was at 3%

because the rate of fast food consumption in America suddenly doubled, and most frustrated

jobseekers succumbed to become minimum-wage burger flippers, I would argue this isn’t ideal.

We need jobs in the areas where there will be growth in the future and where America has

a fighting chance to carve out a competitive advantage. Green technology, biotechnology,

nanotechnology, social media, and other high-tech fields are going to result in tons of new

consumer demand (and jobs) around the world, and America is losing the race in each case.

For example, China’s government is investing $200 billion in high-speed rail while American

conservatives mock the concept and the Obama administration struggled to allocate a paltry $8

billion in funding. Foreign companies are likely to be the new champions of this field, and for

American companies to even play the game they will have to resettle in Asia. It is a sad state of

affairs. This is an example of the sort of industry that the government can safely spend toward

boosting up - because it is unambiguously beneficial to society on so many levels.

These five principles may be difficult to implement in the short run and will take immense

courage on the part of our leaders, courage that few have been willing to show. But they

are no-brainers when it comes to sustained job creation over the long term. There are some

changes that all leaders should be willing to embrace above all of the noise. Luckily for

America, one of our strengths as a nation has been the uncanny ability to course-correct when

the going gets tough. There is hope that we can do it again. America’s jobs problem is spiritual

in nature: we have become slow and scared in embracing the winds of change, whereas in the

past it was America who rode these winds the furthest, fastest.

Palin, Bachmann, and The Cult of Stupidity in US Politics

A most disturbing trend in America today is the growing celebration of stupidity by our political leaders. Its predictability as a phenomenon that mirrors American society at large does not make it any less devastating or dangerous.

This is best exemplified by two former beauty queens, Michele Bachmann and Sarah Palin who are both comically uninformed and fiercely proud of it. They revel in their lack of suitable education or original ideas, and get away with it thanks to above average looks, compelling stories of motherhood, and by frequently ducking under a Constitution-bound bible for cover. Their platforms are little more than tenuously interwoven platitudes on patriotism, the glorification of gun violence, cannibalizing government, and Christianity. Their views on each are narrowly defined to the point where exclusion and conflict are inevitable, only adding to their appeal for those who feel included, the ones who wish that their little club could be their whole country.

Neither is qualified to be a 21st century public school teacher, let alone presidential material even in the barren 2012 Republican wasteland. That their names are bandied about should frighten US citizens half to death. When Palin and Bachmann misquote history and have it pointed out to them, they immediately bat their eyelashes seductively and cry victimhood as followers pile on like sheep to defend their honor. For Palin and Bachmann live in an alternate reality where logic is irrelevant and facts are incidental at best on the journey to grow their personal brand.

This would be all fine and good if not for the sad commentary about the state of our nation. What does it say about us? These quaint publicity-mongering middle-aged ladies would be at worst, harmless and inconsequential strands of the American fabric if not for the millions of Americans who would passionately support them for higher office. The loud and annoying aunt down the street isn't usually a threat outside her home. But somehow we are as close as we've ever been to living in a universe where Palin, Bachmann, and others of their type are in charge. The problem of course is not that women are capable of achieving high office; far from it, that is a national strength. It is that some leverage their status as women to unjustly claim victimhood when challenged. They mislead their supporters, showing how little respect they have for the IQ of their own flocks.

Somehow in America it became cooler to be mediocre than intelligent, attractive than talented. This rings true from the Hollywood Hills to middle school classrooms straight into the halls of Washington power. It applies to both men and women and spares no political party. It should not be surprising that many politicians we elect to represent us are winners of popularity contests rather than readers of books. But if we lower the bar further by opening the White House doors to unashamed "C" students at the cost of "A" students, disaster will occur and we will deserve it completely.

The presidency is among the most complex, difficult, dangerous, stressful, and thankless jobs in the world. It is not appropriate for insecure, thin-skinned egomaniacs who "refudiate" instead of admitting mistakes or evolving philosophically. It puts one in charge of the most fearsome army and weapons ever known in the history of mankind. Palin and Bachmann view these as toys to play with in an earnest personal crusade to advance America and Jesus Christ without knowing much about who and what lie beyond the water's edge. This more than any other reason should give us pause. Knowledge, experience, and intelligence are in short supply in D.C. and needed more now than ever before. Palin and Bachmann have exhibited little interest in learning more about what they don't know or can't glean through prayer.

Their ostensible love for America, family, and God are admirable and closely aligned with my own deep personal sentiments. However, these traits simply do not qualify one to run for national office when coupled with an overarching lack of intellectual curiosity. We must ask our leaders to pass a higher test, especially in these historically stormy waters. There are forces at play that will almost certainly accelerate America's decline relative to other rising nations in the near future. Through outstanding leadership and courageous course corrections these forces can be halted or even reversed. However, it will take an "A" student to make this happen.

From all political stripes, some may protest conflating Palin and Bachmann. Yet these two are in fact engaged in the beginnings of a tea-soaked Beltway Barbie death match, vying for the same votes from the same base assuming both end up declaring for the presidency. Ramifications could endure well beyond 2012 as the real battle is for leadership of a medium-term fringe movement, win or lose in real-world government elections.

Others may claim neither has a chance to win the nomination or the general election, but this could be an underestimation of Americans' ability to make bad choices. Finally, stupidity and vituperation in politics are admittedly nothing new as we all know, and certainly pre-date poor Palin and Bachmann. Yet nobody has approached the unique, ignitable combination of clout and clueless-ness to date that these two have achieved in short spurts of spotlight.

July 4th weekend is not a bad time for national self-examination and introspection. After all our country's government is a reflection of us. That Americans watch reality television and pay attention to the lives of uneducated, mediocre and classless people such as Lindsey Lohan, Kim Kardashian or Paris Hilton is bad enough. But if America were hypnotized long enough to elect one of them to the presidency, that would be far worse. By now it should be apparent that this is exactly the path we are on.

Sensible Immigration Reform

In today's dysfunctional American political landscape, it's no surprise that any chance of achieving meaningful immigration reform by the 112th Congress has been scuttled. In an era in which most Republican voters question President Obama's place of birth, there is no hope for that party to create coherent policy around such a contentious issue. Let's not mince words here. "Birthers" and their leaders are racists and xenophobes, plain and simple. They're direct descendants of the KKK without the white hoods, hiding instead behind "trumped up" charges that the White House is being occupied illegally. It is raw emotion that drives these people, not the law. The debate taking place is so far disconnected from reality that I fear another decade may pass before real action is taken.

Half-baked immigration policy drags the United States down faster than any other. It has a domino effect on all other policies. Everyone in Washington these days is talking about budget deficits, the national debt, low GDP growth, and the solvency of our Medicare and Social Security systems. We all know that the baby boomers are beginning to retire, and the ratio of working, taxpaying people to retired people is shrinking drastically. The consequences for the economy are dire, the talking heads proclaim loudly. Meanwhile, other countries with their youthful working citizenry threaten to overtake us economically.

The answer to all these problems is the same simple, benevolent force that has kept America afloat throughout the last few centuries: immigration. America has consistently remained a magnet for industrious individuals from every corner of the globe. We are in dire need of an infusion of new blood. Don't take my word for it; ask any multinational CEO. We need to let more people into the United States from around the world, opening up our borders dramatically. Meanwhile, we must provide amnesty to the illegal immigrants who are already here, for regardless of what we do, they are going to be here anyway. It is simple supply and demand, just as with the drug wars being fought in American cities all the way down to the outer reaches of Latin America. We have only ourselves to blame for craving it. American businessmen are more than happy to hire cheap labor regardless of their immigration status in order to squeeze additional profit.

There are legitimate concerns with illegal immigrants. They can strain resources at the federal and local level such as schooling, healthcare, and law enforcement. Criminal gangs made up of foreigners have sprung up around the nation. Most importantly of all, we are a nation of laws, and the law is broken each time somebody jumps over the border without authorization by the United States federal government. I agree with this point of view. This is why we need to change the laws on the books- and put together a sensible immigration policy once and for all to make us more viable in the global marketplace.

Most indicators show that a majority of immigrants, both legal and illegal are hard-working, willing to do the hard farm labor that locals aren't, generate sales and income taxes, and are leading technological and scientific innovation in the United States at an inordinate ratio. Think of where Silicon Valley, our great universities, or any of the premier medical institutes or labs would be today without recent immigrants. Just ask any of them. They simply wouldn't exist today, likely overtaken long ago by foreign competition. Immigration has allowed us to become, and stay an exceptional country.

The racists and xenophobes may always fear the Mexican labor that is landscaping their yards and cooking their meals at the fine French restaurant. Yet for many of these people, those immigrants will probably be responsible for their adult diapers and all other bills at the nursing home in the not-too-distant future- if they are lucky enough to receive the government assistance that keeps them alive, thanks to immigrants keeping our social safety net solvent.

Do enough Americans have the common sense to allow us to change course in time? There is nothing more patriotic than looking out for our nation's long-term health, even at the cost of short-term challenges.

Fond Freshman Memories

All of us are shaped by the social experiences we've had as part of groups or organizations: schools, colleges, workplaces, clubs, teams,etc.

I've been fortunate to belong to some great organizations: universities, athletic teams, societies, government agencies, publications, and others where I've learned a lot and formed lasting relationships. Most of it that's worth mentioning, you'd find on my resume. But resumes are generally dull. They're lists that don't tell much of a story.

Whenever I look back, there is always one organizational experience out of dozens that stands out in my mind as my favorite from over 16 years ago: the Hickman High School tennis team. I've never really delved into why I have these unwaveringly sunny memories of this time, but as an older, more experienced student of organizations and management I've come to some realizations that are fairly interesting. The reasons, which are many, are telling in a psychological sense. I'd be surprised if some of you don't identify.

In the spring of 1994, I was a ninth grader who played on the junior varsity tennis squad for Hickman High School in Columbia, Missouri. But I attended West Junior High School, which is some miles down the road. West Junior was grades 7-9 while Hickman was grades 10-12. Ninth grade athletes with talent and potential from West Junior were allowed to play JV or varsity sports at Hickman with the older students if they made it through tryouts.

In reality I made it through the cut-throat tryouts, when about 25 tennis players were whittled down to 16, more due to potential than talent. The coach told me so, and I was actually bottom-feeding at number 15 on the depth chart, where the top 8 were varsity and lower 8 were JV. A good friend of mine got cut because I took a set off him 6-4 after having being down 4-1 in tryouts, and we were never that friendly again. An 11th grade kid who was much better than me, and as a 16 year-old had a car and drove me to tryouts, was cut too because he was expected to have less playing years.

Right off the bat I got an inflated sense of my 14 year-old self. Man, I'm gonna take the bus with the very few West Junior kids who get to leave school early (everyone would see me) to make it to sports practice at the high school in time. The high school where I might be going the following year. Where everyone was older and cooler. Where the girls were hotter. Where people drove cars, had jobs, and their own money. All of which was new to me. And exciting. I was gonna be a player at that level when I walked those halls, at the junior high school as well as the high school.

Things only got better from that initial euphoria, which helped salve the pain from being cut from the basketball team the previous winter, something I had wanted more badly. As Indian kids growing up across America and their parents know, chances are you're not going to be a great basketball or football player due to your size. But we could be dominant at tennis to get that jock fix in addition to high SAT scores. Sure enough there were several other Indian kids on the tennis team too- one of whom was a habitual cheater who called every ball out when you played him.

What I liked the most by far, and the reason I am writing about it today, is that the two hours of practice every afternoon and the matches against other schools were bar none the most fun, yet grueling experience I'd had in my life till then and probably since. Nearly everyone on the team was better than me. Every stroke, every serve, every volley and every drill I had to put in 110% to stay afloat. And I relished it. I learned like crazy from the other guys, each with their different style, and a great coach. My learning curve was steep because I had barely played before. I was made fun of quite a lot, as the youngest and nearly worst player, but that motivated me. It forced me to be clever socially, and step up on the court to gain respect. And every single day that season, I was getting stronger and better.

During drills, I got to practice with and watch everyone from top to bottom. Occasionally I'd do well enough to hit a few strokes against the varsity guys, getting crushed but nonetheless learning and getting better. I had to play out of my mind just to rally against the guys a few slots above me.

And I looked up to those guys like nothing else. It was awesome getting car rides with the music blasting, or taking long bus trips to rural areas of the state, learning everything about what high school would be like and goofing around. And I was part of a team with a sense of camaraderie and purpose I'd never seen before. I was having a (tennis) ball.

And we were pretty damn good. Both JV and Varsity teams went undefeated through the season, and barely had to break a sweat to do so. We romped over any school because at every position, singles and doubles we were just better. Our top few players were ranked at the state level. The varsity won the state playoffs without too much trouble that year. We hardly even bothered asking each other about winning or losing. It was just sequences of numbers: instead of stating the set score, "Oh yeah I won 6-3, 6-2" we just said "3 and 2." More often than not we just heard "donuts," meaning 6-0, 6-0, or "bagels" to make fun of our coach, who was a health food nut who'd get on anyone's case for uttering the word "cola." Earning donuts and bagels became our reason for being to impress our teammates because winning wasn't really in question. We traveled around Missouri and demoralized people. And as the bottom feeder fluctuating between #13 and #15, I was generally better than the other team's scrubs were. At one point I remember our JV team taking on another school's varsity and spanking them.

This success was probably a combination of coincidence, when the school just happened to have a particular stellar crop of talent, and strong coaching. There was also a culture that developed, as anyone who's been a part of a legacy of sports champions at any level would understand. Those of us on the team were cocky, and though in most schools being a tennis player probably isn't the same as being a star quarterback, we still walked around with a gangster swagger. Tennis players, being few and far between at that age, also had a mystique. It's part of the reason why we could win so easily. I must have worn my tennis uniform to school 3-4 days a week.

I really liked this particular position of being near the bottom of a truly excellent team. I didn't want practices or matches or team bus trips to ever end. I wanted to just be around these guys all the time- there was nothing else I wanted to do with myself more than that, besides traveling to India in the summer. My position worked well for me and my world view, and as the season went on it became clear my upside was being noticed. The coach and some of the best players were openly guessing that one day, perhaps Junior or Senior year, I would be the #1 singles player at Hickman. Even so, I was still getting pinned down and mooned on bus rides by the Seniors.

Another factor is that it was an escape from the academic grind which our parents kept asking us about, while at the same time condoned by our parents because it was a healthy activity that could also help kids get into college and stay out of trouble. It was one of the few things that we really wanted to do for fun, and the rest of the community- from teachers to neighbors to parents to the local media- encouraged us in it. It was like I could be a rebel without really rebelling.

The next three years of high school, in sharp contrast, I lived in Ohio and was a middling #1 player/Captain for a horrendous team that almost never won. For three years I had nobody at my level to practice with each day, disinterested and mediocre coaches, and much worse weather to play in. I remember tennis in Missouri always being under sunny conditions, and the three seasons in Ohio were always cold, raining gray and windy. While partly true, my mind's eye probably exaggerates dramatically. I can hardly remember my 3 years as the undisputed leader of my high school team, even though I earned an individual winning record and various accolades. It wasn't that much fun because the team wasn't winning. Tennis was still a big part of my identity, but in a wounded sort of way. I got into other things. And nothing else since 9th grade has compared.

These experiences never really leave you. Winning never stopped being fun and addictive. I've never lost that unique combination of swagger and cockiness blended with a dose of humility and eagerness to pick things up that I don't know from other people. My desire to be liked by everyone and prove myself were reinforced by those days too. I've developed a strong liking for being around people who are a few years older than me, which has formed the base of my social circle for many years. And I've completely lost interest in being #1 for its own sake which is what most hip-hop stars seem to rap about these days. I like to think that power would not go to my head. I'd rather be part of a successful organization that kicks ass and does good stuff, rather than being at the top of it and achieving individual success while watching it fail. I wish Wall Street operated this way.

Funny enough, I'm not even in touch with anyone from that magical tennis spring of '94 these days. Maybe I'll hunt some of these folks down on the web. I'm quite sure that none of them would remember things the way that I do if they even remember the team (or me) at all- another of life's conundrums. To some of the better players, tennis was probably another chore.