Showing posts with label Al Qaeda. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Al Qaeda. Show all posts

Friday, January 1, 2010

Powdered Crotch, Hidden Weapon


Passengers on Northwest Flight 253 from Amsterdam to Detroit were nearly treated to an unpleasant Christmas day fireworks show, courtesy of a young Nigerian traveler named Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab. There are striking parallels aplenty to another would-be airplane bomber, Englishman Richard Reid a.k.a the "shoe-bomber" who attempted to light some explosive-filled footwear on fire with a match during Christmastime 2001. A stark contrast is that Abdulmutallab packed the explosive PETN powder tightly against his crotch inside his underwear, which we can safely say wasn't a jock itch remedy. The Al-Qaeda affiliated terrorist intended to use a syringe of fluid to set off the explosion, ostensibly in hope of taking down the plane with him.

Fortunately, both men were forcibly stopped by alert passengers and flight crew just in time to prevent a potential fiery explosion, which might have damaged either plane enough to force an emergency crash-landing. Abdulmutallab, like Reid, is now in jail. Such heroism and vigilance, while applaudable, offer small comfort for those of us who feel that these pyromaniacs should have been intercepted by government agencies first, especially 8 long years after the catastrophic 9/11 attack when four hijacked airliners became weapons of mass destruction.

There is much at stake in the foiled Abdulmutallab terror plot. It is a shadowy tale of international intrigue spanning many countries, involving many US and foreign government agencies, and brings to light key details of how America executes its counter-terrorism efforts on the front lines. In the final analysis, both sides failed. The Jihadist network did not get the plane crashes they sought; and the security apparatus of America suffered "systemic failure" as President Obama admitted several days later. The fight is far from over, so this is a good time to assess what is happening and demystify the strategies we are using to defeat the bad guys.

Terror, Inc. is alive and well. While the crotch bomb failed to blow, another terror plot was executed very successfuly a few short days later. A Taliban commando dressed as an Afghan military officer blew up a US compound in Afghanistan, killing 8 CIA officers in one of the deadliest attacks of the entire 8-year Aghanistan campaign, and in the six decade history of the CIA itself. Though entirely separate incidents in different countries, they illustrate that the tentacles of Jihad are truly global and have a very long reach.

In November yet another airliner bomb plot was foiled as a man carrying PETN and a syringe, just like Abdulmutallab, was captured in Somalia by the authorities at Mogadishu Airport before he could get on the Dallo Airlines flight. Judging by the fact that these are the only two known PETN plots, they happened within about a month, and both men had connections to Yemen, it is likely to be backed by the same Al-Qaeda network in that country. It is embarrassing that Somalia's dysfunctional government could stop the guy from getting on their airliner, but the US government did not stop Abdulmutallab from flying Northwest's friendly skies. In an unfortunate twist, the Somali government released their man from custody, losing a vital source of evidence perhaps for good. Yet another terror plot may have been foiled recently as five Americans of Pakistani descent from D.C. are being held by the Pakistani government for, among other charges, casing Pakistani nuclear facilities for a potential strike. This is not the first time that a foreign government is holding Americans on charges of terrorism on their soil, a strange turning of the tables.

These disparate events prove the significant reach of the terror networks, which thanks to the Internet and no shortage of weak and strong states to stage their bases in, are truly globalized in nature. Take Abdulmutallab- a Nigerian, living in England, trained in Yemen by Saudis, and boarding a flight in Amsterdam bound for the United States. Nigeria, England, Yemen, Saudi Arabia, Holland, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Somalia, and the United States: with a borderless enemy full of loose affiliations operating in dozens countries, it is foolish to think we can defeat terrorism by military means alone. The "War on Terror" initiated by the Bush Administration is a monumental example of a fool's errand on behalf of an ignorant citizenry, one that has led us to spend billions of dollars and thousands of lives in Iraq and Afghanistan without buying even a basic modicum of security. Terrorism is a criminal law enforcement problem, not a war, not deserving of the legitimacy the far-flung members are given by calling it a war, and must be treated as criminals. We continue thinking of our national security policy as a "War on Terror" at our own peril. Sadly, this moniker is just one of the mistakes committed by a Rogue's Gallery of national security professionals.

A Comedy of Errors. If there were ever a chance to catch an angry young anti-American terrorist red-handed on a silver platter, before he ever boarded a plane, this was it. Abdulmutallab was ratted out by his own father, of all people, far in advance of Christmas. Several months ago, after noting his son's flirtations with Al-Qaeda in Yemen, including correspondence indicating the boy wouldn't see his family again, Abdulmutallab the Senior informed officials of Nigeria, along with State Department and CIA personnel at the US embassy. Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab is a Muslim Nigerian who bought a one-way ticket, with cold hard cash, and checked no bags in. And all this just one month after the failed PETN attempt in Mogadishu in November. It boggles the mind to wonder how this person was given a US visa, and did not have it revoked at any point during the process.

It should have been easy to track down this amateur with a profile screaming "catch me please!" He seems to have been on the radar of multiple agencies, including just within the United States alone: State, CIA, FBI, TSA, and other pieces of the Department of Homeland Security puzzle. Who should be held accountable in this labyrinth of a bureaucracy? Central to the furor is the so-called "watch lists" maintained by the intelligence commmunity; instead of the "no-fly" list that could have stopped him at the boarding gate, Abdulmutallab was placed in another broader database, tucked away with 550,000 other names. Washington must take a very close look at how these various databases are used and updated, as in this case it was rendered completely ineffective. We must make better use of these lists, and have better protocols to investigate red flags properly. We must have much better lines of communication between agencies. Finally and related to that, our human intelligence and signals intelligence must be better at connecting the dots. We were getting electronic chatter from Yemen that a Christmas attack was imminent, but this information was not cross-referenced with any of the numerous other red flags.

Politicizing the incident. When under attack, it would be nice to see the nation come together as one in the face of a shadowy enemy. But like nearly everything in a polarized America at war with itself, Flight 253 has demonstrated a level of finger-pointing between politicians to rival that of the security officials. Most disgusting of all is the opportunism displayed by Congressional Republicans and right-wing bloviators in the media, attempting to seize back the political high ground on their bread and butter issue of national security, and the spotlight after being rendered irrelevant in the health care debate, which degenerated into a tug of war between liberal and conservative Democrats only. The cheap shots at Obama attempt to paint him as weak in the face of our enemies.

The Obama administration damaged itself by waiting far too long to make a statement on the incident. This shook the nation's confidence during the heaviest period of airline traffic on the calendar. When Homeland Security Secretary Napolitano finally spoke, she initially said the system worked, when it was quite obvoiusly the opposite. Counting on passengers and flight attendants to take down a terrorist isn't exactly watching the multi-billion dollar system work, and nobody was fooled. Obama made a critical error. Though Republicans have tried to jump on this as evidence of an administration weak on national security, the poor initial reaction is inconsequential for national security in the long run. Hopefully the White House learned its lesson on message control during a crisis. Meanwhile, many seem to have forgotten the incompetent prevention and response measures by Bush and Cheney to disasters such as 9/11, when Mayor Giuliani became the soother of America's psyche for a week rather than the president. Additionally, Republicans and Democrats alike stayed quiet during the Richard Reid incident in 2001 as well. The latest attackes are ample proof of putting politics above country.

The most consequential question of the day is Guantanamo Bay. There is evidence of a connection between Abdulmutallab and two Saudi figures released from Guantanamo by the Bush administration, who allegedly turned up in Yemen in the Al-Qaeda fold to help train jihadists like Abdulmutallab. There are two ways of looking at this set of facts. One is the tack being taken by former VP Dick Cheney, who refuses to allow his failed legacy to speak for itself, and Rep. Pete Hoekstra (R-MI): we should not release detainees held as enemy combatants in Guantanamo, because they will go back to the business of terror again, like an ex-con freed from jail to commit more rapes. The other side of the coin is the one that Obama seems to espouse, though in a more lukewarm manner than before: holding enemy combatants indefinitely, without presenting proper evidence of wrong-doing or setting up some form of trial, against the spirit of most laws, will result in enough anger to help Al-Qaeda and the Taliban recruit new members. Meanwhile the guys who do finally get out will desire revenge for the way they were treated. This in turn, makes us less safe.

The evidence clearly shows that Guantanamo should still be shut down, but the Christmas day incident will force a continued debate on the matter. Those engaged in the battle to shut the base down lost a key general, when White House Counsel Greg Craig was pushed out of the administration this fall.

Airline Security. In examining the technical aspects of airline security, it is necessary to step back and look at the bigger picture. No matter what measures are put in place- including invasive new machines that will show the exact contours of a passenger's body- a terrorist who is halfway competent and willing to kill himself will find a way to take innocent lives, on a plane or elsewhere. I attended a presentation by a security consultant who regularly passes through TSA checkpoints at airports across America with lethal weapons such as guns and knives on his person. His team uses a combination of distractions, less-detectable materials, and hiding techniques. Focusing on an individual security measure will only lead to trying new ways of killing people. The magnometers present in most airports today cannot detect explosives, only metals. This means that we rely on poorly trained, poorly paid TSA personnel using wands and old-school body searches to find explosives or drugs. Adding the new machines, at many billions of dollars during a time of budget shortfalls, may help with that specific problem, but as a nation we will still have many other vulnerabilities. Another piece of the solution is better law enforcement: the type that we see by the detectives on "Law and Order" or "Criminal Minds." This requires the police work of deducting connections, motives, finances, putting weapons in someone's hands, and the enabling supply chains in order to destroy them. It will also require close cooperation with other nations, including some that are unsavory.

Abdulmutallab should be tried and sentenced in a court of law for all the world to see. And given a lifetime to rot in jail, rather than the paradise that he probably thought would await him as the martyr he never became. As Americans, we are bigger than the enemy. We have the righteous winds at our back, and morally acceptable tools at our disposal.

Empty words such as "victory" in the context of Iraq and Afghanistan are pipe dreams, nice things to talk about, if even worthy goals since we created the messes over there. However, it was dumb for us to believe that military campaigns would in any way eliminate terrorism. Terrorism is everywhere, and we will have to deal with it everywhere. Drying up the wells that foster terrorists will require more than swinging around our big guns wildly, as we have spent nearly the last decade doing.

Saturday, February 28, 2009

My interview with Osama Bin Laden


Here begins a new series of blogs that I will be publishing over time: The Three-Martini Interview Series. I will first take world figures. Then we will make things interesting with this unique blend of equal parts: I (the interviewer) will drink three martinis (or other weapons of choice), insist that the world figure (the interviewee) does the same, and then conduct interviews on extremely important topics of international concern. This is just to get some social lubrication going, and try to arrive at some profound truths that one cannot achieve during sobriety. My first interview transcript is below. I tapped Osama Bin Laden to be my first subject.

*** Disclaimer: These interviews will be strictly fictional, until such time as real important people agree to talk to me.***

NOTE: As I do not know Arabic, a fictional translator was fictionally hired by me to assist in conducting this fictional interview. If any of the answers are falsely represented here due to the translations from Arabic to English, you can blame our imaginary friend. If you are Bin Laden's lawyer, sue that guy.

MJ: The first question on my mind, and President Obama's mind, and everyone's mind, is this: are you dead or alive?

OBL: That is quite a deep and philosophical question.

MJ: You can give me a philosophical answer. That's allowed. Anything goes.

OBL: Thank you. Okay. According to Islam, and most infidel world religions, life is transitional. However, the soul lives on. So in either scenario, according to your small minded constructs, I am very much alive. If I'm dead, my name alone inspires millions to do the work that I started.

MJ: Okay, another housekeeping matter then. I've had three martinis. And, uh, you don't drink alcohol right? That kind of ruins the premise of these interviews but I respect your right not to drink. Can you meet me halfway somewhere here to follow the spirit of my plans?

OBL: (smiles) I've chosen to share a battery of three hookahs- middle eastern water pipes- with you instead.

MJ: (belching) Great! What flavors shall we share?

OBL: Strawberry, apple, and peach, in that order.

MJ: Beautiful. (a masked gunman-slash-attendant sets a water pipe in between us)

OBL: (taking the first drag on the strawberry flavored tobacco) It is strange talking to you. An American whose parents are from the great Hindu land of India; you chose to live amongst white infidels in miniskirts and pay taxes to the Great Satan. This is after you spent four years in my beautiful home country, Saudi Arabia while growing up. So confused you must be.

MJ: I take umbrage with that. Just because we bailed out AIG and other big companies that didn't deserve it... that doesn't make us Satan. That smells good, by the way.

OBL: Yes, strawberry is my favorite. Your entire system is corrupt.

MJ: It's better than any other system out there! America in my opinion represents the best system of government in the world, the best way for the largest ratio of citizens to achieve prosperity through merit and hard work.

OBL: Your country is a far-reaching empire that has shoved American Idol and Britney Spears down the throats of innocents around the world. It's undefendable.

MJ: Yeah but you guys live in caves and don't allow women to show their faces. I think that's chauvinistic. All countries have their faults, Osama.

OBL: At least we're not tempted.

MJ: So you're admitting that in your ideal world, your men simply have no control over themselves? That a state of utter domination over women where they are not allowed to show their faces in public is the only way to repress mens' inner temptation?

OBL: Quite the opposite. We have full control.

MJ: OK, moving on. We're never going to see eye to eye on this one. (takes a drag of strawberry) Damn, this is tasty.

OBL: Yes this strawberry tobacco was purchased from my friend's farm.

MJ: This one is very important to me. I live in and work for New York City, and I had just moved here when 9/11 happened. It affected many who are close to me. Why did you do it?

OBL: I guess you didn't see my Youtube video? Here's the URL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KiKyWJRRjnU

To wit: "The events of September 11 are but a reaction to the continuous injustice and oppression being practiced against our sons in Palestine and Iraq and in Somalia and Southern Sudan and in other places like Kashmir and Assam."

MJ: Wait a second, wait a second, wait a second. Your guys killed 3,000 innocents on 9/11 in New York, at the Pentagon, and the plane that crashed in Shanksville, PA! Including Muslims! What did any of them do? Many of them have never even heard of Assam.

OBL: I knew that would get your goat. You're Indian and you know where Assam and Kashmir are. You know what's happened to my people there at the hands of the Indian government. They weren't innocents; and like you, they were part of the system and deserved to die.

MJ: (gulping, looks at the masked attendant, and takes another drag) I don't understand a philosophy that condones the killing of innocents. This isn't what I stand for, or what America stands for. Those places you brought up are war zones, with organized militaries fighting other organized militaries, with inadvertent civilian casualties. There cannot be a moral equivalence.

OBL: I laid it all out on my video. Watch it!

MJ: So your justification for 9/11 is the story of the wolf and the lamb.

OBL: Yes, the wolf and the lamb! The wolf (America) accuses the lamb (Middle Eastern Muslims) of dirtying its water the year before. The lamb replies that it was not born in the year before so that's not possible!

MJ: I'm following-

OBL: Then the wolf said, "it must have been your mother" and ate the lamb.

MJ: I guess that's messed up.

OBL: Then the lamb's mother, in passion for its dead offspring, butts its leg against the wolf.

MJ: Okay-

OBL: Then the wolf dares calls the poor mother a terrorist even though the wolf wasn't really hurt. And the rest of the world chimes in like parrots in agreement! Where were they when the wolf ate the lamb?

MJ: I'm trying to make sense of this man, I really am. I'm a bit intoxicated but let me try and understand what you're saying. Killing 3,000 innocents on 9/11 was a poor mother sheep's kick against the wolf who ate her son? YOU are the poor mother?

OBL: Exactly! (motions his attendant to replace the hookah; MJ shivers)

MJ: Again, we are never going to see eye to eye on this. You had other means of peaceful protest at your disposal. You didn't have to kill so many innocents.

OBL: It was the only way to make my point.

MJ: Weren't you seeking power by creating a global Caliphate? With you at the helm?

OBL: Yes, and we're going to succeed. And if I am dead now, or if I die in the process, other sons of Islam will grab the prick.

MJ: Grab the prick? (OBL and the translator talk animatedly for 20 seconds)

Translator: Sir. He meant to say "baton." Sorry, that didn't translate well.

MJ: The mother sheep wants to rule the world? It doesn't make sense, man. Anyway most Muslims are smarter than that anyway, they won't let your small minority hijack their entire religion and culture. I agree with Barack Obama: your ideas are morally bankrupt. True Islamic clerics themselves would say so.

OBL: We'll see who's right about that in the future.

MJ: Let me understand you. Why couldn't you achieve change through organized, peaceful means with the resources you had at your disposal?

OBL: I'm not like your heros Gandhi or King. I don't have the time or the patience for that.

MJ: You killed Muslims!

OBL: As you know, those Muslims who disagree with me on the 9/11 issue are not true Muslims at all. In fact, they are as bad as the infidels.

MJ: I doubt that the prophet Mohammad would have agreed with you. You think Mohammad's followers who disagreed with you, including the custodians of Mecca and Medina who exiled you, are wrong?

OBL: Yes. They are just as bad as the Western infidels; therefore they also deserve to die.

MJ: But don't you know that history is against you? That most of the civilized world is against you? Now that Bush is out of power, objective people will start hating your Al Qaeda movement more than they hate America. You'll get wiped out.

OBL: What a way to go. 72 virgins await me and my men who die for this cause.

MJ: That's quite a gamble to take; you have no evidence that your boys will get that in the afterlife. It's sick thinking.

OBL: So let's assume 100,000 civilians died in the American-led invasion of Iraq that you paid for with your tax dollars. That's okay? Compared to my mere 3,000 body count?

MJ: It's not okay; but they were collateral in an armed conflict. Saddam himself killed more of his own people. And for the record, I was against the Iraq invasion.

OBL: I had no love for Saddam. I begged the Saudi royal family to let me at him.

MJ: We can agree that guy was a prick.

OBL: Yes, he was quite a baton.

MJ: See, I knew we'd find something in common! (pulling on the pipe) I like this apple flavor.

OBL: You really think peaceful protests will solve the suffering of the Palestinian people?

MJ: Yes, if it was organized around the principles of democracy instead of terrorism.

OBL: You do not agree that Israel's agenda is one of oppression?

MJ: It's not their agenda. But terrorism puts those who seek draconian measures into power in the name of security. I believe in Israel's right to exist.

OBL: We can never agree on this then.

MJ: What's wrong with Arab peoples and Israel living side by side in harmony?

OBL: It can never happen.

MJ: I disagree. People of different backgrounds around the world live peacefully next to each other. America is the best example of that.

OBL: Even you oppressed the black population for centuries, built your agrarian economy on their backs.

MJ: We made some mistakes. Now we have a black president; we're on our way to improving that situation. America has progressed over time, we've had our civil rights movement, the sexual revolution, different forms of enlightenment of sorts. You've never had that.

OBL: We don't need it. We're fine the way we are. (signals attendant for third, and last hookah)

MJ: To me that shows a lack of education about the world, a lack of intellectual curiosity; a form of Islam that says even within your religion your way is right and everyone else's is wrong.

OBL: Exactly.

MJ: I'm starting to realize there is no point in talking to you about these things. You're not flexible in your thinking. I can try to understand your point of view but you'll never try to understand mine.

OBL: I'm just older and wiser than you. I know the way the world works and you don't.

MJ: Moving on. What do you think is going to happen in the Iranian elections coming up?

OBL: Shi'ites are a waste of my time.

MJ: So even though they're Muslim- you don't feel any connection to their issues?

OBL: They're right to want to wipe Israel off the map. And not much else.

MJ: Okay. We're obviously done talking politics. Let's talk about Abha, the town where I lived.

OBL: Beautiful city.

MJ: I agree. Among the most beautiful I've ever seen-

OBL: Great weather.

MJ: Yes, year round. Amazing mountain vistas. The most beautiful parks in the world.

OBL: The baboons.

MJ: Yes, the baboons who roamed the parks as if they owned them.

OBL: It's too bad you didn't join the good side, able young man like yourself.

MJ: I'm on the good side. I guess we don't have anything else to talk about.

OBL: No, we don't. Goodbye. I hope your hangover isn't too bad.

MJ: Goodbye. (escorted out of the cave at gunpoint. Takes an ornate hookah pipe as a souvenir in his flowing Arabian robe when the armed guards aren't looking- a small act of defiance in this crazy world)